1. FINGERLESS GLOVES
The only purpose they serve to humanity is covering up Karl Lagerfeld's shrinkled 70-year-old seamstress hands. Otherwise, fingerless gloves remain inherently useless and, despite what Karl may think, have never made anyone look "biker-tough" or "rock-n-roll chic". Unless, of course, you're one of those genuine, self-mutilating, multiply-pierced goth sluts with track marks up and down your arms. But even then, why act hard?
2. GIANT HEADPHONES
Generally worn by mopey hipsters and their aloof, nutty girlfriends, giant headphones are as forced and pretentious as the obscure bands these aspiring production assistants and junior art directors listen to. That perpetual DJ look is so two years ago.
3. CARDIGAN WORN OVER SHOULDERS
Sure, some still think it's the epitome of country club classiness and Ralph Lauren-style refinement, but the annoying thing about the cardigan-over-the-shoulders look is that Anna Wintour always employs it. And that, by definition, is pretentious.
4. SUNGLASSES WORN INSIDE
There's a good reason this look is so stigmatized. It cries out, "I'm dying for attention." So unless there's an army of paparazzi standing by to snap your photo, just let it go. And even then, staring them down is so much more hardcore.
5. THE HOUSE OF HOLLAND FASHION GROUPIE T-SHIRTS
We can't even begin to tell you how many suckers we've seen going to parties in these obnoxious, over-hyped rags that read things like, "Do Me Daily Christopher Bailey", "Cause Me Pain Hedi Slimane", "Uhu Gareth Pugh", and "Get Your Freak On Giles Deacon." We'd give you the background on the who's who but you have to be stuck so far up your own ass to care about the obscurities of British underground fashion, we're not even going to try. Just steer clear.
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